searchingforthehowsandwhys

A sad and sorry day

2009-01-08T17:04:00.003Z

Although I enjoyed blogging on this blog, I have changed my URL again.

Please direct yourselves to my brand spanking new blog at www.sjholland87.spaces.msn.com.

I will be updating more frequently as well

I hope you find my new blog as good as this one was

Scott-James

Finally There!

2008-10-01T02:08:00.002Z

A few weeks ago, I came out of a very long but rewarding relationship. Since then, I lacked focus and tried to find why I was put on this planet and what was my reason for being here. It is a very strange place but I have finally found the answer. It's here to make my friends feel needed and wanted. I'm always there for them no matter what has gone on and I will always listen.

This has recently been the case with one of my friends sisters. She has been going through a little bit of a confusing stage herself for other reasons but I have been helping her through it. It wasn't the same as my problems but I have helped her to understand a few things. We have got on better over the last few weeks than we have done well, forever basically.

I also had a fantastic and relaxing (but drunken) weekend away at James and Carole's which put my focus back onto achieving my goals. It gave me time to relax and become un-tense as I didn't have the problems I have at home and it was a new surrounding. I have to say it was a really good weekend and hope to have many more with them.

Anyway. Time for bed!

Goodnight and God bless

Scott-James

One very lucky man

2008-09-16T14:25:00.002Z

I'm not normally one to indulge in football discussions, but this was one that I feel I should

John Terry was sent off on Saturday in the match against Man City. Ok it was deserved of a yellow card at the most and nobody denies that. It wasn't as malicious as what people have claimed ("Rugby Tackle") but it was bad enough to stop a possible goalscoring opportunity.

He appealed, but nobody knows why.

Like I said, it was a yellow card at the most.

His appeal got overturned today even though it was a definate yellow card. The FA rules state that a red card can not be downgraded to a yellow. So how has he got the ban revoked if it was a definate yellow card? It's yet another case of the spineless FA letting the big clubs get away with murder. Last season during the Man Utd and Liverpool maatch, Torres was diving everytime someone as much as breathed on him but because he played for Liverpool, the FA refused to warn/fine him.

To add to that, the Terry case was the "top priority" but the "tackle" by Danny Guthrie for Newcastle is not being dealt with. A little ludicrous if you ask me. He kicked out at the player and broke his leg. He ran 10 yards to kick him with no intent of getting the ball. He then ran another 10 yards after he missed to kick him again. Yes it may have been out of frustration but how does that not deserve a longer ban? Instead, the spineless FA decide to revoke Terry's ban because he is the squeaky clean England captain even though in their own laws it could not be possible.

Vidic's first yellow... For his first offence was equally as stupid. Ok he is only serving a one match ban and he cant appeal as his second offence was a yellow but once again, the incompetence of the top flight referee's is under the spotlight again. You watch the match again and realise how many "fouls" went against Utd.

And liverpool fans... One game doesn't mean you will win the league. The number of liverpool fans that have said "we will win it now" is ridiculous. Man Utd were poor. Thats coming from a utd fan. If you met an inform utd side, you would have been steam rollered. Sorry that's just the way it is!

Bank Holiday Madness

2008-08-25T03:11:00.002Z

I HATE Bank Holidays. They always land at a time I have no money to go to the pub. The hops aren't even open full hours. What is the point of them!?!. Well If the weather is nice, I shall probably go for a walk somewhere. Even if it's into town. Probably end up taking photos of weird things like I normally do.

2008-08-25T02:47:00.002Z

Decided to stick with one page but going to start tagging the posts. Easier that way for me to maintain

RIP Clover

2008-05-27T21:45:00.004Z

2001-2008

Sadly put to sleep on 27th May 2008 after developing a tumor on her larynx

She will be sorely missed by friends and family alike.

Sleep well little 'un

Next Gen Prince Of Persia Revealed

2008-05-04T18:05:00.005Z

Prince feels Amano-inspired. Looks like a celluloid/animated character (a bit like SFIV). The style itself is still in progress.
Corrupted world needs to be healed.
Story is much more "1001 Nights"-like, more fantasy, less grounded in reality but instead more magical yet still credible, more poetic.
Player must unleash light-wells to heal the corrupted world, which shoots light into the sky, reminiscent of SotC and Okami.
The transformation of the world is in real-time, with plants growing back to life as the world heals back and as the player can still move, instead of a mere cutscene, sky changes back to its normal color, etc., to give a strong sense of control and success to the player.
No more time rewind and such.
They are no making a second Assassin's Creed, they are making a new PoP.
Art style was difficult pass through the management, but they never refused it, and eventually loved it.
Story specifically: Orhmaz and Arhiman, twin gods, one good one evil, celestial battle, Orhmaz locks Arhiman away in a box which he hides into an faraway oasis deep within a desert. Centuries pass, and comes a troublesome thief (the prince) and Arhiman is freed somehow (not deep explanation given). Prince must undo his mistake. This is what they refer to as a more "1001 Nights" kind of story, like a fable.
More open/organic environments. Has a Zelda-esque feel, old-school in themes.
Bosses/player use backgrounds during fights (one shot shows an enemy pushing the prince against a wall as if trying to choke him, or another throwing him in the air).
Game went through a few iterations; originally too open (felt big but not enough to do), at one point it was more like Assassin as far as open world (going where you want), but players would get lost and wander aimlessly and dynamism suffered as a result. Now instead it is more focussed with a clear road, but multiple paths can be taken (free to move from one map to another, back and forth, etc., more open than previous PoPs).
The demo map shown to the journalist, old of a few months, has been scrapped design-wise because it was too Assassin-like, now it's more fantasy design-wise.
Game world is made of nodes connected by paths, and you can go from one node to another as you wish (this is what they mean by less open, but non-linear; you can see the paths, but you don't have to going from A to B to C). The game adapts as a result (enemies from later visited locations might be more difficult, etc., for example zone A might be more difficult if you access it at the end, but if you accessed it at the beginning then it is easier, even bosses, depending on what order you fight them, adapt as such).
Prince can slide along any walls using his glove. Game is as much vertical as horizontal.
Prince has more possibilities of movement.
Bosses inspired by MGS' boss quality; they are fewer but they have a story, a reason to be, they leave more of an impression on the player. Some are former nobles, sometimes acting against their will.
They wondered if they should make just more enemies and try to do a God of War game and try to beat it on its own ground, or go for something different. They went with fewer enemies instead and a new combat style. Combats are duels. You can see the expression on the faces of the characters/bosses. Movement/action in fights is more like Advent Children, more cinematic in presentation.
140 people working on it, more to come, people from many projects.

Yippee

2008-05-04T13:20:00.009Z

Finally acquired the new TV for the bedroom.

It's a 19" TV monitor from LG. HD Ready with component, VGA, DVI, RGB, RF and Scart connection.

Lack of an HDMI port is a downer but can easily be remedied by a HDMI to DVI converter.

It's a nice piece of kit and for £169.99, it's a bit of a bargain.

Here are some pictures. Sorry for the crappy quality... They were taken off my webcam

Good times

2008-05-04T01:54:00.002Z

I think everyone should stop and take a look at this...

MY SHOULDER IS 100% FIXED!

Yes you read that right. I have the ok from the doctor to start playing again. I just need to find a new club though. So if anyone knows any clubs that need players in the manchester area, and they are looking for a scrum half or a centre, then let me know.

I did get special recognition at my old club though which was fnatastic. Especially seeing as though I have been out since February and had been out 6 months with the injury before that! So I want to thank them all for everything. I'll miss you all and hope you get the push you are after.

Anyway... GTA IV!!! TEH SECKS!

New albums have made it onto the classics list!!!

2008-04-25T04:47:00.002Z

My classics list is albums which I have had for 4 or more years and still regularly listen to them.

Added to the list today are:

Dogs Die In Hot Cars - Please Describe Yourself
Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane
Snow Patrol - Final Straw
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Kasabian - Kasabian
The Zutons- Who Killed
Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
Coheed & Cambria - In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3
The Coral - Nightfreak And The Sons Of Becker
Embrace - Out Of Nothing
The Hives - Tyranosaurus Hives
Interpol - Antics
The Killers - Hot Fuss (YES THIS WAS RELEASED IN 2004 WHICH WAS WHEN I GOT IT. RE-ISSUED IN 2005)
Kings Of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak
The Libertines - The Libertines

So welcome to the club you lot. You join great company such as White Stripes, Damien Rice and Queens Of The Sone Age. A lot of those i considered classics anyway.

I have some new album I am listening to and a couple of them are ones that slipped under the radar from 1 or 2 years ago. I will post up my thoughts on a later date

Why is it...

2008-04-23T05:04:00.004Z

When you are single, all your ex's come back sniffing around. I mean come on, three offers and it's only Wednesday! For god's sake. I only have eyes for one girl and she knows damn well who she is! Just leave me alone for god's sake!

Life's rough for me at the moment so I don't need you lot sniffing around me again.

No sleep again tonight. Not happy about that but it could be a whole lot worse. I'll get a couple of hours early morning see what that does. Probably going to stay up for another couple of hours though.

Here are a couple of videos of me, my friends and or debaucheries:

I want to get one of me playing halo. I get very pissed off at it so it should be fun to see!

Friday

2008-04-04T17:37:00.003Z

A bit of a mixed bag today. Some joy but some real bad lows.

I went over to Chester this morning to visit Auntie Margaret's grave for the first time. It was a surreal experience and one that got my eyes watering. While I was there, I went to see my ex's grave. I broke down again. It all still seems so unreal. I still don't know what happened to her and quite frankly, I don't want to know. I don't want to feel any worse than I do now about it all. It's just really weird. One month we were talking, then the next she's dead and I don't even know what happened to her

On the other hand, I got a new copy of Snow Patrol's "Eye's Open" after I lost mine. Happy about that as it has some of my favourite songs on it. Especially the song "Hands Open"

The Call of Duty 4 maps were released today so i've been playing those all night. Was supposed to go out but a bit shy of funds this week so I'm giving it a miss. Went way over the budget I set myself but It's been good.

So I've just been sitting here all night playing on the Xbox and sipping on a few nice cold beers.

Oh yeah, before I forget, Hello Mai and hello Taylor. See I didn't forget!

Thursday

2008-04-03T12:24:00.002Z

I always hate Thursdays. Nobody is in and I always have little money. They are completely boring.

So the plan of action for today is to lie around for a bit and probably tidy up a bit. I have been meaning to do that for a while now...

Anyway, been reading this link this morning and some people I have spoken to have come up with some good points. If you were to reclassify a drug that has, as of yet, killed no people in this country, does that mean tobacco and alcohol would be class A as they kill over 130,000 people a year in this country? Probably not. The easiest way around this without being hypocritical is to leaglise, tax and control cannabis in this country* but, as ever, we have a government that realises that if they were to do that, it would be deemed as common sense and would be against what they stand for. The reason for the reclassification was to free up police time. Ok yeah good idea but what about the overcrowded prisons which are 30% full of guess what... Pot users and dealers. So why not legalise it and let them free as they would have no business and would free up 30% of our prison space. Common sense hey!

Anyway, enough of that rant... I need something to do

*In no way am I condoning the use of drugs. Drugs are bad. End of

Yay

2008-04-02T21:35:00.002Z

Life seems to be getting back on track. Finally realised there was nothing I could do and broke down. I have to thank Leanne for that. She really helped me through that xxx

Anyway, paid the bills today. Wasn't a nice feeling handing over the money but had to be done I suppose. Also picked up "Black Sheep" which I intend to watch later. I've been told it's very funny so I'm looking forward to it.

Last night was a good night. First off, Man Utd beat Roma 2-0 to give themselves a huge advantage going into the second leg. It wasn't a very good match but Utd's defence was fantastic.

I got talking to an amazing girl called Taylor last night. She's funny, clever and also a hottie. The last bit doesn't matter as much though. She loves to wind me up and we erm... have an idea with Twix's. I'll leave it at that!

Well that's all thats happened really.

I'm going to go play on the xbox for a bit and talk to Taylor...

Au Revoir

Time for a change

2008-04-01T15:41:00.003Z

Changed a few things.

The right hand side has been chopped around. Gone is the news feed, the huge link list and the itunes play count is now chopped down to 5 songs. The link to add me to you AIM list (if you have AIM) has now been moved to the right hand side underneath the "Email Me Now" link.

New things are a "recently played" widget courtesy of last.fm and a list of the CD's that are currently in rotation in my CD player. The idea was to have a slideshow of the album art but I can't find a site to do it... yet. I will do though.

Another major thing is a change of address. The address for my blog is now http://www.searchingforthehowsandwhys.blogspot.com. Some people my notice that this is the title to the latest "Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly" album. I just think the phrase sums up a lot of things so i liked the idea of it.

1 last cosmetic change is the hit counter at the bottom. It has been reset to zero. Just so I can track it again as it hit astronomical amounts a few days ago and I don't know why.

Another change, but nothing to do with the blog, is that I am now 100% using Safari. I finally managed to install the Shockwave plug-in and I am now looking to expand it. It's a lot better than IE which doesn't seem to like certain websites.

Well that's all at the moment. There will be som more changes probably but not just yet

Odd's And Sod's

2008-03-31T18:19:00.002Z

Some things you might not know about me:

My forename is not double barreled on my birth certificate

I have English, Scottish and Welsh heritage with a possibilty of French (well that's what my mum says...)

I have 2 sugars in my black coffee

I have NEVER seen Scarface or Goodfella's and neither do I want to. Gangster films, apart from the Godfather, are not my cup of tea

In a list of the best Star Wars films, I rate "Revenge Of The Sith" higher than "A New Hope", "Return Of The Jedi", "Attack Of The Clones" and "The Phantom Menace". So if you read that back, it leaves "The Empie Strikes Back" at the top.

I still play on my spectrum. Those Dizzy games keep pulling me back!

I am pretty fluent in French and can comfortably speak to a Frenchman/woman. but not to an English person speaking French

At time of writing this, I have 1736 songs on my itunes playlist. That is around 1/5 of the music I own.

One of my feet is size 12. The other is size 11. That's in shoes. In Trainers, one of my feet is 13 and the other is 12.

I was a pain in the arse in School but still managed to come out with resonable results even though I did no revision.

I never finished a course in college but do plan to go back.

My Xbox LIVE gamertag is mr bump1987. This is partly because im clumsy and partly because somebody had already taken "mr. bump"

My pursuit in life is to find the car with the registration P155 0FF. And I know it's out there as I have seen it with my own two eyes

I use Safari instead of IE. Page rendering is quicker and after the 10th load on a windows PC, it loads very very very fast but, I have to use IE for this blog as Safari for windows doesnt have the Shockwave plug-in yet!!!

I still record stuff on VHS. Now that is old skool dedication!

I play the accoustic guitar, the electric guitar and the Bass guitar

I'm also a dab hand at playing the drums

One of my musical heroes is Kelly Jones from the Stereophonics

Another is Johnny Cash

My favourite film of the past 10 years was Walk The Line. Which may come as a shock to most of you, because between 1998-2008, we had the prequel trilogy, the lord of the rings trilogy, spiderman trilogy and the matrix trilogy... All of which I enjoyed.

I think Leprochauns are evil... Think about it! They make you get drunk on Paddy's day.

I have a personal vendetta against cows. They stand there all day, leaking methane which does more damage to the planet than what cars kick out. They "predict" the weather... And i'ts always wrong and when you kick off at them, all they say is "mooo" to you! Cheeky!

I am scared of spiders, moths and the colour pink

I have an evil monkey that lives in my closet (Family Guy FTW!)

I think Chris Griffin is funnier than Ralph Wiggum

That's all I can think of at this moment in time.

Hope all that is useful for you... Or not as the case may seem

New Music

2008-03-27T18:45:00.002Z

Some new albums and band's that I am recommending to you...

ALBUMS:

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly - Searching For The Hows And Whys:
Loving this album at the moment. Completley different to Sam's last work "Chronicles Of A Bohemian Teenager". The song "Waiting For The Monster To Drown" Is fanstastic and really shows how much he has progressed as a musician. Shame about "I Could Build You A Tower" though...

We Are Scientists - Brain Thrust Mastery:
It's growing on me... Slowly. "After Hours" is possibly the worst song on the album which is why they released it first. "Dinosaurs" and "Ghouls" are the standout tracks on this album. Different to their first work so many will dislike it. You have definatley got to listen to it a few times...

Panic! At The Disco - Pretty Odd:
Difficult one this. After "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out", the skyt was the limit for this croup... But I'm afraid this one is nowhere near as good. A lot more piano driven... "Nine In The Afternoon" and "The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know" are standout tracks on this album... Give it a try though!

Los Campesinos! - Hold On Now, Youngster...:
Amazing! This album has NO FILLER tracks on it whatsoever. You really have to be into the indie scene though to appreciate how good this album is. Best band of 2008? Yes! Stand out tracks are "Knee Deep At The ATP" and "This Is How You Spell Hahaha, We Destroyed The Hopes And Dreams Of A Generation Of Faux Romantics"

Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles:
I actually got this imported. Not released over here untill next month. Anybody who lived in the 90's rave scene (Prodigy era) will love this album. Yes the songs are better live. Yes, the songs sound like some NES game but this band are amazing! Stand out tracks are "Alice Practice" (as made famous on Skins) and "Xxzxcuzx Me". I urge you to buy this when it is released over here. Even if it is not your usual music. You will be pleasently suprised!

Duffy - Rockferry:
Yes.. It's music for puffs but I love it... And her. She's from Wales, she's hot and the album is fantastic... What more could anyone ask!?! Stand out tracks are the number 1 single "Mercy" and "Warwick Avenue". If you want somethin different, buy this!

Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree:
Not had much time to listen to this one but what I have heard, I enjoy. Even more chilled out that "Felt Mountain" which was almost impossible. Stand out track is "Clowns"

There are more but they need a bit more of a listen before i put anything up

BANDS/ARTISTS:
(Here I will put up a link to download a song to see if you like... Right click>>>Save target as)

Joe Lean & The Jing Jang Jong

Chromeo

Foals

The Last Shadow Puppets

MGMT

Shut Your Eyes And You'll Burn Into Flames

These New Puritans

(Songs will be posted soon... Just finding somewhere to host)

Spiralling path of self destruction

2008-03-23T04:15:00.004Z

I think that sums my lfe up at the moment. Nothing seems to be going right at all.

I just can't get my head around it all. I don't know where to turn. Life is royally fucked up at the moment and nobody knows what I'm feeling. Nobody cares about how a man is feeling inside. Nobody imagines what it feels like for a man to lose somebody they loved, cherished and adored.
How can I mourn a girl who I parted with on such bad terms. Called her a slag, a slut... and truly meant it

I can't and it's eating me up inside. I know I should but I can't and nobody can understand that. It's all very well telling me that I should let it all out but what if I can't. It's just getting stored up there with the rest of the fucked up shit that's been going on.

Why can't my life be simple? Why can't I mourn her the way I should. Instead I just grab the nearest booze and drink myself stupid. That's no way to live. No way at all.

I'm slowly killing myself and there is fuck all I can do. There's fuck all anybody can do...

6 Best And 6 Worst Chat Up Lines

2008-02-12T23:39:00.000Z

I read this in the paper on Saturday (Daily Express)....

The best 6 chat up lines are...

1. You are like a compass. Without you I am lost
2. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you
3. Do you have any rasins? no? How about a date?
4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk past you again?
5. I may not be fred flintstone, but I can make your bed roc
6. Are those space pants you are wearing? Your arse looks out of this world

And the 6 worst...

1. Here's 20p, ring your mum and tell her you won't be home tonight
2. How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning?
3. I like your dress but it would look better on my bedroom floor
4. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven
5. Your dad must have been a thief. He stole the stars and put them in your eyes
6. If you were a McDonalds burger, you would be McGorgeous

So there you go you helpless romantics. Try some of those on for size...

What the hell is this?

2008-02-12T13:49:00.000Z

Blue sky... Sunshine... IN FEBRUARY!?!

No money to enjoy it either. Well none that I want to spend. Sucks.

So I'm just chilling today. Outside typing on here soaking up the sun.

I wonder what it will be like to have a nice tan by March?

Things I Learnt In The Last Week

2008-02-11T14:42:00.000Z

1. PVR's are a god send!
2. Spam is funny
3. Northwich is a shit hole
4. England are crap in both rugby and football
5. The express is 10 times better than the mail
6. I have an IQ of 110
7. Hair was designed by god so he could laugh at us in the morning
8. I need a new laptop battery
9. There is always something lurking round the corner on good day to smack you on the kisser
10. Football Manager is very VERY addictive

2007-11-22T02:52:00.000Z

Says it all really!

OH NOES!

2007-11-13T11:43:00.000Z

JUDGMENT DAY IS NEAR!

(And for those who think it's a photoshop... LOOK HERE!)

It's been a while!

2007-10-12T12:51:00.000Z

Been a while since I posted on here. Lots have happened.

Completley bodged my ankle. Can hardly put any weight on it at the moment. Doc says it's going to take a while and there is the possibility of having an operation to solve the problem. Dislodged a joint which has damaged the tendons and ligaments and also bruised my toe and damaged my instep. All I know is that it fucking hurts like mad.

My Halo 3 game disc is damaged. Luckily, Microsoft are replacing them for free. The game is the sex. It really is but I am now without it for 4-6 weeks. Noooooooooo! Oh well, Matty will have to bring his copy round for me to play on!

Went to marseille for the England vs Australia match. What an atmosphere. It was almost like it was at Twickenham. Great results that day. First us beating the Aussies and then the French beating the cheating scum that are the All Blacks. I am hoping we beat France in the Semi and get to play South Africa in the Final. After the beating we got from them in the pool, it would be fantsatic for us to beat them in the Final and be the first team to retain the cup. But I wouldn't mind Argentina going through. They are a hell of a team but I think England could turn them over. Either way, I think we will win it.

Here's hoping hey!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2007-09-11T13:36:00.000Z

Fresh new look and I have deleted some of the less interesting crap

Big up for Mark for doing my graphics. You will find his blog HERE.

Still a lot of work to do to get everything going again. Had a hectic last few weeks. Moved back into my orginal number 9 position only to ruin my ankle in a warm up match. Not happy one bit. Didn't affect me at first but it swelled up bad. Weakened a tendon or something so having to take it easy for a few months.

Watched a lot of films recently. Really had not much else to do. Well apart from spending money I haven't got.

I might not post much next week. The old dear is going away and I don't want to be left with my sister and my mum so looking to get away from here for a few days. Any takers!?!

Going back to uni next year to take a foundation degree in animal maintenence. Really looking forward to it.

Only a few days to go till Halo 3. Can not fucking wait for that!

I will post some pictures I have taken recently later. For now, I better go back to getting this place nice and tidy

Latrs guys and girls